It's a brand new day!!!

My sister told me that my last blog was a little depressing and really I have much more good things in my life then I let on. So, really I shouldn't feel cold and freezing, brrr...but there are times when I feel alive and happy, and really quite positive!! I am actually very excited about graduation because I have been in school for most of my almost 30 years of life and it will be freeing to have a job and make some real money (not that 2 days a week at the medicenter isn't a good job!!) There are a lot of possibilities out there for me, I just need to actually narrow down what it is that I want to do!! I also really enjoy helping my sister, who is basically on bedrest, she is having twins and spending time with my nephews is the joy of my life. Now if only Jonah would learn to say my name and not Curtis's then I would have even more to be excited about. I am looking forward to the summer when the weather will be hot and I can spend time outside!! I have good friends, Sara, Julie, Merissa, and of course my loving sister, and for those people I am truly thankful for.

So really, life is not as sad or depressing as I may have made it seem the other day, because I know that there is more to life and that God has given me much more then I may sometimes credit Him for.

blah...

I feel blah. About most of my life. I feel like everyday just kind of goes, and then it's over, and I haven't really accomplished anything. Except working at a job that doesn't interest me, and writing papers that don't interest me. BLAH. I am excited for graduation, but not at the same time, because then it's the same old question of "so, what are you doing when you graduate? Do you have a job?" to which I say, no, I don't. Not because I'm not good enough for any job, but because I simply haven't looked for one yet. I don't know what is wrong with me...it's like there is just something holding me back, because once I look for a job, it's all downhill and the rest of my life is going to get planned for me. And while it might be exciting, and will open new doors, it will also close lots of other doors. And that scares me. So I sit at this place of indecisiveness, seven weeks before graduation, and it's almost as if I am frozen in time. Except time is not freezing. It is just me. Brrr.