blah...

I feel blah. About most of my life. I feel like everyday just kind of goes, and then it's over, and I haven't really accomplished anything. Except working at a job that doesn't interest me, and writing papers that don't interest me. BLAH. I am excited for graduation, but not at the same time, because then it's the same old question of "so, what are you doing when you graduate? Do you have a job?" to which I say, no, I don't. Not because I'm not good enough for any job, but because I simply haven't looked for one yet. I don't know what is wrong with me...it's like there is just something holding me back, because once I look for a job, it's all downhill and the rest of my life is going to get planned for me. And while it might be exciting, and will open new doors, it will also close lots of other doors. And that scares me. So I sit at this place of indecisiveness, seven weeks before graduation, and it's almost as if I am frozen in time. Except time is not freezing. It is just me. Brrr.